


You Are Not Your Own

by Aros_Sage



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x12, Body Swap, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, You Are Not Your Own, sh spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 00:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11196633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aros_Sage/pseuds/Aros_Sage
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 2x12. If you didn’t see it, don’t read!I was so hyped up on 2x12 “You Are Not Your Own” after watching it last night that I literally couldn’t sleep. I had so many scenarios playing out in my head that I need to write this! This is a little AU of the episode. Putting my own flair on it.





	You Are Not Your Own

**Author's Note:**

> Personally, I REALLY enjoyed the episode. I thought it was really well down. Harry & Alan were fantastic! They were so believable playing the other character. I do wish that Alec had trusted his gut and prevented Imogen from nearly killing Magnus but…it’s all good and I still loved the episode. I’m looking forward towards what’s going to happen with them moving forward! 
> 
> For the purpose of Valentine or Magnus…I refer to them based on either Alec’s POV of who he thinks he’s talking to and also third person. If it seems too confusing, I might edit it.

Once Alec and Valentine stood back up from being thrown to the ground by Azazel, Alec walked over, picking up his bow, slinging it over his shoulder and glamouring it again. 

Valentine remained standing near the pile of ash, staring at the pile. 

Alec sighed, the frown still not leaving his face since the instant he’d walked into the loft. “Magnus…please…tell me what’s going on?” 

When Valentine looked at him, he was almost sure he was glaring at him for only a few seconds before his eyes went downcast.

Knowing he had to be careful with the Lightwood, he reached up, grabbing his bicep. “My magic was weakened after last night. Shortly after I got home, Azazel managed to get in. He threatened me.” He hoped the lie sounding convincing enough; though, some of it was the truth.“ He threatened you and anyone else I care about. I didn’t want you to be here because I didn’t want you to get hurt.” 

Alec seemed to soften a little, nodding as he listened to him. “I’m sorry…I should have known something was going on. I’m just…I’m glad I was able to save you.” He gave him a smile, bending down to kiss Valentine. Valentine, panicked, turned his head just a little, the two of them catching the other’s cheek instead. Alec pulled away after, looking confused once more. 

“I’m fine…my head is pounding. I really just need to lie down and get some sleep. I’ll call you later, okay?” Valentine said, doing his best not to throw him out. 

“Alright. Later then.” Alec gave him a smile before turning and leaving the loft.

Valentine walked towards the door, locking it. He wiped at his cheek. “A Shadowhunter…with a Warlock?” He spat to himself, clear disgust on his face. 

0000

Alec had his hand out, physically telling Valentine to stay away. His head was spinning with what Valentine was saying to him, about his relationship with Magnus.

“How do you know these things?” Alec demanded.

“Because… it’s me, Alexander. The day of Valentine’s massacre, you told me that you loved me. So if you love me, please. Please, you have to believe me.” Magnus was desperate. He needed his love to believe him. 

Alec took a couple steps back, his hand still outstretched so he knew to stay away. “You’d say anything to get out of here Valentine. For all I know, you’ve managed to get hold of Magnus’s memories. Maybe you made a deal with Azazel and this was the whole plan.” 

Magnus felt the tears in his eyes begin to fall. Leave it to Alexander to be so doubtful of the manipulation that was Valentine. He shook his head. “Please Alexander. Ask me anything. Anything that only I...Magnus, would know.” 

Alec paused to think for a minute, trying to figure out what he could ask that would be difficult enough that, even if Valentine had Magnus’s memories, he might not have everything specific. 

“I hustled you in pool at Maia’s birthday celebration. How many games did I win?” 

Magnus choked on a sound that was a mix of a cough, a laugh, and a sob. He reached up, wiping at his eyes. This was his chance. “It was our first real date, not Maia’s birthday. And…I hustled you. I made you think you were winning and you missed the shot on purpose. After that…we played best out of 5 and I won 3 to 2.”

Alec stumbled back a few more steps in disbelief. He knew there was still a small chance that Valentine was lying to him. That he was given access to memories somehow. He could hear Jace giving him a warning before he had come down to confront him, unable to take the pleading and begging for him anymore. He had to come down to see for himself. 

“I-I have to be sure.” Alec said, turning on his heel and practically running out of the room without another look back.

Magnus fell fully against the wall, sliding down. It had been a long time since he’d felt so hopeless. He wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his forehead against his knees. This couldn’t be happening. He was exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. On top of the torture he’d been subjected to, the last few moments with Alexander had been terrifying. He’d never seen him look at him like he had. There was so much anger and hatred in his eyes. He knew reasonably that Alec was looking at Valentine but he was so vulnerable that it felt like he was looking at him. He needed Alec to believe him. He had to. 

0000

Alec ran up the stairs to the loft, feeling a little out of breath. He thought about to early, even last night, how Magnus did seem off. He had shrugged it off that it had to be because of the blast. He vaguely remembered Azazel bending down over Magnus and then Valentine. Was it possible? He could have switched them? He had never heard of something like this happening. Ever.

He was just about to knock on the door when it opened, surprising him. Dot came out, surprised herself since she almost walked into Alec. 

“Alec. How are you?” She asked, a smile on her face. 

Alec looked at her curiously before glancing behind her, seeing a startled looking Magnus looking at him. 

“I’m doing well. Thanks.” He answered her, his eyes remaining on Magnus. 

Dot smirked, rolling her eyes a little at the love birds. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you two alone.” She turned to look at Magnus. “If you need anything else, let me know.” Valentine nodded watching her go, stepping aside as Alec made his way in. 

“Alec…is everything okay?” Valentine asked, closing the door and following the Shadowhunter.

Alec nodded, going towards the living room. Immediately, he wanted to tell him what Valentine had been saying, but his gut told him not to. He had to test him. He needed to do it. 

“The Institute is on guard with The Inquisitor there. I needed to just get out.” He turned, smiling at his boyfriend. “Were you able to get any rest?” 

Valentine nodded. “Yes. A little. I asked Dorothea to come over to help me with my magic. My magic needed a jump start.” He frowned, watching Alec walk around the living room. “Any news on Valentine? Was he also affected from last night?”

Alec turned around to face him. “He’s been unconscious mostly. The Inquisitor is frustrated because she wants to continue interrogation.” 

“What The Clave does is no interrogation. It’s torture.” Valentine said flatly. 

Alec’s eyebrows rose at that. “Though I don’t condone torture…it’s Valentine. He’s caused so much damage. He knows where The Mortal Cup is. We have to get it back before it causes so much more damage.” There was that look again…that he saw earlier before it quickly flashed away. 

“You’re right. Do you want something to drink?” Valentine asked, walking over towards the alcohol bar. He needed something and had a feeling that this was used frequently considering the volumes of the liquids in the bottles. 

“Just some water. Thanks.” Alec answered him, watching him as he pulled out a liquid bottle and poured a glass. 

“I was thinking about going on a date next weekend. Do you think you’d be up to it? I was thinking we could go back to that little hidden restaurant in Nice. I’ve been craving their crepes.” Feeling his pocket buzz, Alec pulled his phone out, receiving a text from Jace.

_They’ve requested Valentine’s execution. -J_

__

__

Alec felt his heart hammer in his chest.

_I know this sounds insane but you need to stall. Stall until I say otherwise. -A_

__

__

He glanced up at Magnus who was headed towards the kitchen for the water. He turned, looking at the balcony, a place that had become somewhat of a safe haven for him and Magnus whenever things went wrong.

_Stall? Why? -J_

__

__

_Something’s wrong. Trust me. -A_

__

__

Alec rubbed the back of his neck anxiously; the feeling in his gut was growing stronger and stronger. 

“Yes. We’ll go back.” He heard Magnus say, his voice much closer. 

Alec turned to face him but was met with something hard smashing into his temple, making his vision go black and causing him to fall onto his knees. He reached down for his blade, blinking rapidly to clear his vision even a little. 

“You stupid Shadowhunter.” He heard his lover’s voice say, another blow going to the back of his head, rendering him unconscious. 

0000

“Where’s Alec?” Maryse asked, finding Jace who was leaving The Inquisitor’s office. He was startled by his adoptive mother. 

“Maryse…what are you doing here?” Jace hugged her in greeting.

“The Mortal Cup is missing and now a Greater Demon is loose. I need to be here.” She said to him. “Alec?”

Jace looked at her, guilt on his face. “About the Greater Demon. He was holding Magnus hostage in his loft and Alec got the upper hand and banished it. I wish I had seen it. One shot.” Maryse looked at him in shock. “Look, I’m sorry! Alec only just reported it maybe an hour ago. Things have been crazy around here.” 

Maryse looked slightly shocked then relieved about the news of the Greater Demon. She pursed her lips. 

“Oh right. Alec went to check back up on Magnus. He seemed shaken up. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” 

Maryse nodded at his response. “Isabelle?” 

“She should be in the training room. I saw her a little while ago.”

“Thank you Jace. I’ll see you in a little bit.” 

0000

Jace knew Alec was going to kill him for leaving The Institute. Magnus had texted him that he really needed him and he couldn’t deny him. They owed so much to Magnus that he didn’t question it. Finding Clary, he explained to her that he needed her to stall if the order went through for Valentine’s execution. She didn’t understand why but he told her she just had to trust him. Luckily, she did. 

On the way to Magnus’s, Jace had sent out a text to Alec to check in.

_Update? -J_

__

__

_Had to go to a meeting. I’ll let you know soon. -A_

__

__

Jace wondered what meeting Alec had gone to but he knew his brother, his parabatai had been slowly getting more and more responsibilities on his plate. There was no doubt he’d be the Head of the Institute sooner than later.

Knocking on the door, Magnus answered almost instantly. He looked stressed. 

“Everything alright?” 

Magnus nodded, looking behind Jace before closing the door. 

“Thanks for coming.” 

“Of course. So what do you need from me for this…gift for Alec?” He looked at Magnus curiously when he didn’t answer him. “Everything okay?” 

Valentine snapped out of it. “Yes…this is just nice.” He smiled at him, genuine sadness in his eyes. “Us…being friends…it’s a shame it has to end.”

Before Jace could answer, Valentine was throwing magic at him, his wrists cuffed together, a chain snaking its way down to his ankles that were also chained. 

“What….” He began but froze. He knew the answer. “Where’s Alec? What have you done, Valentine?” Jace seethed, jerking his restraints, angry that they held so strongly. 

Valentine walked up to him, patting him hard on his cheek. “That disgusting excuse for a Shadowhunter? That abomination you call your parabatai? He’s been taking a nap.” 

Valentine walked towards the living room, taking a left, just out of Jace’s view. He tried in vain to remove the shackles but there was nothing he could do. They were tight and secure. He reappeared but Jace couldn’t see him because Alec’s taller, larger form was in front of him. He frog marched Alec towards Jace. He could tell Alec was struggling because, though his arms were obviously pinned behind him, there was still a chain connecting his wrists to his ankles which made his movements difficult. There was a gag over his mouth and blood trickling from the side of his head. Though his eyes looked angry, Jace could also tell they were partially glazed over. As Alec got closer, he could see the signs of a concussion in his pupils. Shit. 

“What did you do to him?” Jace asked, taking a step but stopping, nearly tripping over his own feet with the lack of give between his legs. 

Valentine shoved Alec into a chair, moving over towards Jace. He grabbed his arm, pulling him so he could come to sit beside Alec in another chair. He fought in vain, quickly being shoved into the chair. Jace and Alec looked at each other, both trying to gauge how the other was. Alec, relieved, saw that Jace seemed to be unharmed. 

“Pretty boy here came by to test me. I couldn’t let him prevent me from getting my body back.” Valentine said, kneeling down a little so he was eye to eye with the two. “And then it occurred to me, The Institute wouldn’t let a Lightwood and the golden boy be killed. They’ll make a swap on my terms.” 

0000

Maryse followed The Inquisitor down to the cell.

“Imogen…you can’t kill him on revenge. The Clave denied your request.” She hissed at her as they stepped out of the elevator onto the floor. 

“You don’t understand. You…you lost nothing. Even your reputation didn’t take as bad a hit as expected. I lost my son…my daughter-in-law…my grandson. I can never get them back. He has to pay.” 

Magnus glanced up from the floor, shrieking back against the wall when the two women came in. Where was Alec? 

“Either help me or leave.” Maryse pursed her lips but nodded.

“Get him in the chair.” Maryse walked over, grabbing Magnus by the arm and hauling him to his feet. 

“Maryse please…I’m not Valentine. Alexander knows…just ask him. Please…just ask him. Please.” He felt so puny. He was begging to Maryse Lightwood of all people to save him. What Hell of a dimension was he in? 

“Gag him.” And then his pleading was blocked off as a cloth was tied around his mouth. This couldn’t be how it would end. Hearing shouting, Clary came running fron the elevator. She skidded into the room, looking hesitantly at the two women and Valentine in the chair. Maryse moved to stand between Clary and the other two. 

“Stay out of this Clary.” Maryse warned her.

“But you don’t understand. You can’t do this yet. Please…just wait a little longer.” Clary asked, taking a step but Maryse blocked her. 

“You took my family from me. You don’t deserve to live.” Imogen lifted the blade and was close to stabbing him before Maryse grabbed her wrist. 

“Stop! Stop!” Maryse said, her eyes looking past Imogen. 

“Imogen…Maryse. It’s been so long since I’ve truly been in the same room as you two.” On the other side of the glass stood a projected imagine of Valentine standing next to Jace and Alec who were bound, sitting in chairs on either side of him. He titled his head. “Clarissa…how nice of you to join us.” 

“Magnus…what are you doing?” She watched his smile grow, a dark look in is eyes, even if he was just a projected imagine. 

“Alec was right…Azazel switched Valentine and Magnus.” Jace glanced over at Alec. “I’m sorry Alec.” Alec didn’t react, only stared at the real Magnus who was wide-eyed and very much afraid from having nearly been killed. 

Valentine placed his hand in Alec’s hair, giving it a sharp yank. He closed his eyes at the pain but otherwise didn’t make a sound. “A sharp young man you’ve raised Maryse. I was almost certain I’d fooled him.” But he just shrugged, removing his hand.

“Let my sons go.” Maryse said, standing closer to the glass that separated them. 

“Now now…we’ll do this on my terms.”

“We don’t make deals with traitors.” Imogen said, steppig to stand next to Maryse. Clary, at this point, ran over and began untying a shaking Magnus. 

“Oh…but I think you will.” Valentine smiled. “You wouldn’t want me to kill your grandson now…would you?” Imogen and Maryse both looked at him curiously. 

“Your lies won’t work.” 

“This isn’t a lie. Jace…your real father is Stephen Herondale. Your mother, Celine. Poor Celine, 9 months pregnant and took her own life. Mauled by werewolves…her unborn child eaten...or was he?” 

Imogen began to pale. “You’re lying.”

“Ah yes…proof.” He held out a ring. 

“Where did you get that?” 

“Off of Celine, of course.” 

“What do you want?” Imogen asked, her eyes unable to look away from Jace who stared in equal shock.

“You’re going to release Magnus. He’ll come back to his home alone. If I see anyone following, I will start cutting.” He smiled, this time his hand on Jace’s shoulder causing him to growl, trying to shrug it away. 

“Show us good faith. Let one of them go.” Maryse said, hoping Valentine would do so. 

Valentine looked at Maryse silently. He looked at her for so long, you could various shaking breaths. “No…I have a better idea.” He pulled out a blade and went to Alec, the blade going to his neck. Jace went to get up but Valentine pressed the blade harder against his skin, causing it to break. “You betrayed me Maryse. You and Robert. Neither of you paid for what you’ve done. I think I’ll take something from you in return.” 

“Stop!” Magnus spoke out, running out of the room to stand between the two groups. He had a seraph blade in his hand and the point of the blade poking into his neck. “Harm either of them and you’ll never get your body back. I promise you that.” 

“Rebuttal.” Valentine sighed, so dramatically that he almost pulled off a trait of Magnus’s. Before anyone could react, the blade was plunged into Alec’s stomach instead. He doubled over but Valentine grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to remain seated. “Hurry so you can save Alec Lightwood’s life. Take too long, and the same will happen to Jonathan.” 

And they were gone. 

0000

“Alec!” Jace cried out, feeling his parabatai rune flare up in pain instantly. He fell out of his chair, moving awkwardly on his knees towards Alec who was doubling over once more. “Stay with me.” Jace said, his hands moving as well as he could, pressing his palms against his stomach. Alec cried against the tape over his mouth. Cursing, Jace managed to reach up quickly, pulling the tape off so Alec could breathe easier. 

“You’re going to be okay.” Jace said to him as his eyes begun to sting. He wasn’t going to loose Alec. He couldn’t. 

“You’re insane.” He spat angrily at Valentine who was moving various potions onto a table.

“’I’m methodic.” He responded. 

Looking wildly around, Jace spotted a thin blanket draped over the couch. “Stay with me.” He said to Alec once more before moving and, as quickly as he could, he grabbed the blanket, balling it up and pressing it into his stomach. 

“J-Jace….” Alec said weakly, a little bit of blood dripping out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Don’t talk…just focus on breathing.” 

0000

Magnus stormed into the loft, breathing heavily. Valentine smiled, looked around to make sure no one was following and then put up the wards. 

Magnus began to go over towards Jace and Alec but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. 

“We switch…then you can attempt to save him. He’s lost a lot of blood already.” 

“Let Jace give him an iratze or the deal’s off.” Magnus threatened, pulling out the blade he had earlier, pressing it against his throat again. 

Valentine rolled his eyes. “If you insist. A Downworlder can never be with a Shadowhunter. Whatever this is…it won’t last.” Valentine walked over, handing Jace his stele. “Any tricks and you won’t have enough time to save him.” 

Jace ignored him, pulled up Alec’s shirt as best he could and drew a healing rune next to the stab wound. Alec grunted, his eyes droopy, having already gone in and out of consciousness. He watched, relieved, as the wound began to close up. He reached up, his hand clapping Alec on the cheek just hard enough to get him to open his eyes more. “Magnus is here…you’re going to be okay.” He felt the stele get yanked out of his hand but he didn’t care. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Magnus said, already having mixed the potions. Valentine came back over, flicking his arms and creating a portal behind his body. 

Magnus and Valentine stood on either side of the table, drinking from the potion. Magnus spoke first, starting the spell and Valentine finished it. At first, it didn’t seem like anything was going to happen but then they both gasped, rising off of the ground.

Alec and Jace watched, momentarily distracted by their predicament to watch. It was bright and only got brighter. It sounded like there was a ringing in their ears and then the light was gone and both men fell to the ground. 

Both confused momentarily, it didn’t take but a glance at one another to see that it worked. Magnus grabbed at Valentine, one trying to stop the other from preventing them with what they wanted to do. Magnus was trying to keep him here and Valentine wanted to escape.

The doors burst open with Clary, Sebastian, and Maryse storming in. Clary, angry beyond belief for everything Valentine has done to her, tackles him through the portal. Maryse and Sebastian go towards Magnus, helping him to his feet. 

“Magnus Bane?” Maryse asks, her grip on his arm tight.

“Yes…it’s me.” Forgetting for a moment what all has happened, he pulls out of her grip to go towards Jace and Alec. With a snap of his fingers, blue sparks covered their shackles before removing them completely. 

“Thanks.” Jace said, rubbing at his wrists for a moment but not yet moving from the floor. He lifts Alec’s shirt again and sighs in relief that the wound has closed up, a faint line showing where the damage had been done, the rune burning next to it. 

Jace stood up only to be hugged tightly by Maryse. Jace hugged her back, feeling safe in the woman he called mother’s arms. 

Magnus knelt by Alec who’s eyes were still glazed over. 

“Magnus…” Alec began, his eyes brightening by the tears that threatened to spill. 

“Shh…” Magnus said to him, placing his hands on either side of Alec’s head. He closed his eyes, forcing his magic to come to life, healing Alec’s head wound. He could feel his magic ghosting over the injuries, pressing into them, removing the damage. 

When he was done, Alec opened his eyes, not knowing when he’d closed them. He felt more alert, his vision and mind no longer swimming. 

0000

Sebastian and Maryse went back to The Institute with Jace in tow, after Alec insisted he go back. He needed to talk to Imogen. They would catch back up soon. Before they had left, Magnus had disappeared into his room, and Alec dare not follow.

Instead, he did what he always did whenever he felt anxiety pulling at him; he cleaned. There was broken glass and bottles all over from the struggle between Valentine and Magnus. He didn’t want Magnus to use his magic to have to do it. 

He felt weak from the blood loss but refused to go back to get a blood transfusion. It could wait. Magnus was more important.

Finally, he glanced up when Magnus entered the room again. If they hadn’t just gone through what they’d gone through, Alec would be able to point out that Magnus was different. The usually flourish was gone. He looked…empty.

Standing up, Alec went over to Magnus but was too hesitant to get any closer. “Magnus…I’m so sorry.” That wasn’t enough and he knew it would never be enough. No amount of times he said it would it be enough. Not for Magnus. 

“That agony rune….” Magnus began. Alec could hear the fight for control in his voice. “Made me relieve memories I’ve spent centuries trying to forget.” Alec felt like his heart was shattering. 

What was worse...Magnus wasn’t able to look at him. He wasn’t looking at him at all. Alec, carefully, moved to sit next to him. “Magnus...tell me how to fix this.” He said, looking over at his boyfriend. “Just tell me what to do. Please.” He could feel himself beginning to choke up. 

Meeting Magnus’s eye finally, he held hope he would tell him what they could do but instead he just shook his head. Alec closed his eyes, forcing himself to find his center. He needed to focus on Magnus right now, not his own guilt. 

“Magnus…” Alec said softly but could tell he’d lost his boyfriend into his own thoughts right now. He reached over, gently placing his hand on top of Magnus’s which was sitting between them. He felt him flinch and would have pulled his hand away quickly but Magnus linked their fingers in a vice grip. 

Carefully, slowly, Alec raised their joined hands, using his other to hold Magnus’s hand underneath for support. He raised his manicured, painted hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles gently. Magnus curled his fingers a little, Alec resting his cheek against his hand for a moment before slowly dropping it. He kept his one hand attached to Magnus’s though, glad the latter wasn’t letting go. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you sooner.” Alec felt the first tear escape, running down the side of his face. “A part of me knew something was off but…I was so worried it was another one of Valentine’s tricks.” The shame in his voice was heavy. “I know I let you down. I’ll spend every day proving to you that you mean everything to me...for as long as you’ll have me.” 

They were silent for a while after that, each lost in their own thoughts. Magnus shifted, immediately causing Alec to snap out of his own head, looking at Magnus nervously. 

“The way you looked at me Alexander. It’s something I can’t forget.” He could tell Alec was going to protest so he kept going before he could. “I know I wore the face of the enemy…but I desperately needed you to trust me. To believe in me and what I was saying as truth but you didn’t. You didn’t believe in yourself. I almost died in the body of a person who’s sole purpose is to wipe my kind out.” He couldn’t talk about the agony rune right now and what he brought back up to the surface. He placed his free hand on his forehead, the head that came on from the body swap lingering. 

“This can’t be fixed in a day. We…I need time.” Magnus told him, slowly removing his hand from Alec’s and standing up. “I need to get some sleep.” He told him, moving to go into his bedroom.

Alec stood up too but he paused. “Do…do you want me to leave?” 

Magnus turned to look at him, his face showing that he wanted to answer yes as a knee jerk reaction. But he didn’t. 

“No…” He answered, realizing that he did mean it. “Stay…here.” Alec realized what he meant and nodded. He backed up, moving until he felt his legs against the couch. 

“Goodnight Magnus. I love you.” 

Magnus gave him the smallest smile he’d ever seen the man do. “Goodnight Darling.” And he turned and left, closing his bedroom door behind him. Alec let himself fall back down onto the couch. He leaned forward, tears of relief and grief came down on him as he cried silently.

Magnus, on the other side of the door, managed to change into pajamas and slip into his bed. It wasn’t much longer before his own grief won out against him, silent tears hitting his sheets as he curled in on himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Well…I hope you guys liked it. I just like to add my own flare for the dramatics because I can’t help it! Let me know what you thought!


End file.
